Reflections:

I found a journal from years ago with an entry dated January 27, 2012:

“ Yesterday, after meeting with the lawyer to give him the paperwork, we drove over to the land we are purchasing. As the weeds and underbrush were very tall, I was unable in a skirt to walk far.  While waiting for Sam who did walk up the path to stand at the property entrance, I stood alone looking at the beauty of the land yet all the work that must be done.  I thought, “Oh, Lord, what have we gotten ourselves into?” The process behind and yet to come seems so overwhelming.

These fears are from Satan. The truth is that we have not gotten ourselves into anything! The truth is that God has led us here and we, in obedience, have followed. Satan desires for me to become fearful of all that must be done – the quantity of decisions, the battles to be fought. But God will fight the battles. He will lead us one step at a time.  I need not to know the entire path.  I need only to ask God to reveal the next step and He will be faithful to do so. This truth replaces my anxiety with peace. Thank you Jesus.”

During the year that followed this entry, we remained in the US, renting a home as we had sold ours to buy the land in Quimistan.  My mother, a widow, was dying of ALS and we knew we could not leave until she passed which she did in September of 2012.

Thus on January 13, 2013, my husband, Sam, and I moved to live permanently in Quimistan, Santa Barbara, Honduras. That was seven years ago this past Monday and much has changed.

In the process of clearing land, digging a well, installing electricity and then building a Home for Children; gaining legal status here in Honduras; learning a second language at retirement age; learning of the cultural differences; hiring staff and finally receiving our first placement in November of 2015; God has been faithful.

This past October, I lost my husband of 25 years and he is now eternally in the presence of the Lord. I have returned to run this race set before me; to complete the good work that God has started; but it seems more difficult in some ways. For the first time in my life, I am living alone. I am at times overwhelmed with the responsibility of running a foundation; being legally responsible for 8 and counting children; for our employees; being accountable to our donors; developing new programs with our mission partners (Family Care: our children integrated into families living here on our site.)

I would have never chosen me for this ‘job’. I do not see that I have the resources to do what is asked of me. I struggle to lead well. I hate accounting. I am aging.  I still am not bilingual. I become overwhelmed by the battles to be fought and the decisions to be made. But, WAIT!  I have been here before and what was true then remains true today.  The God I serve is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Thus, God will fight the battles. He will lead us one step at a time.  I need not to know the entire path.  I need only to ask God to reveal the next step and He will be faithful to do so. This truth replaces my anxiety with peace. Thank you Jesus.